Miss T

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Miss T

My dear colleague Tammy and owner of the beautiful OC Boudoir, was pregnant a few months ago and has welcomed a baby girl. She makes pregnancy look wonderful at 8 months! This hard working mama kept on shooting up until a week before her due date and I'm sure she is itching to get back to creating beautiful images! Check out her work at http://tammynguyenle.com/

Makeup and Hair by Ashley Gannon

I was very honored that she chose me to capture her during this special time in her life!

Miss T_Veronica Mendoza Orange County Boudoir

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Grow from Shame!

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Grow from Shame!

Veronica Mendoza Boudoir Reveal

This little mantra came to me one night while I was trying to figure out how I was going to get past the shame I felt when talking about sex, about worrying what others would think about my work. I realized the only way to get past it was to grow from the shame, to start sharing and connecting with others that felt the same, to reveal that I was like them. Recently I have found other women that are sharing their experience and I am surprised how similar our stories are.

Like the woman I have connected to, I discovered self pleasure at a really young age. I had no clue what I was doing at that age, but as I got older I learned the truth, and that is when the shame began to settle in. I was told sex was not natural and only sinners indulged in sex, so I spent my adolescents thinking something was wrong with me. As an adult I have felt a consent battle within of continuing the story that sex is shameful or embracing my sensuality and helping others embrace it too. 

This is why I am called to do the work I do. This is why I want others to embrace their sensuality.  So that we don't feel shame about something that is natural and is supposed to be pleasurable. So we can have positive conversations with future generations, answer their questions honestly and with real facts. I am ready to start the conversations, even if it is one women at a time.

Much love!
XO,
Veronica 

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What are you afraid of?

veronica mendoza fear

A few weeks ago my love asked me "what are you afraid of." I am an anxiety ridden person, so I can list a huge number of things, but I knew what he was really asking. He was asking why I wasn't putting myself, my work, my message out into the world, even though that is what my soul is desiring most. To identify the fear is easy, it is a fear of being judged, but to get past all of the ways I fear of being judged is another thing. It's odd too because I fear sharing my thoughts more than being photographed naked. 

As I write this and think about my list of fears related to revealing me, it feels like standing at the entrance of a haunted house tunnel, the only way to get out is through and you know you are scared shitless but there is no alternative. I can visualize all the "zombies", "hidden creatures" waiting to jump out, having to remind myself they are not real and that they can not truly hurt me. So here I go, taking the first step into the tunnel, by naming the fears because once you identify them they lose their power.

I'm not that great at the technical stuff in photography
My images are not uniques enough (I think every artist struggles with this)
My work is not that important to anyone else but me
I do not provide enough value for people to want to work with me
I suck at spelling, grammar... writing in general
My work is too erotic/sexual/inappropriate
No one will resonate/comment on my work

It feels damn good to call them out! I hope each day I can get through the tunnel a little more and maybe in few months or in a year I will reach the other end and think "that wasn't so bad" (as you usually do after a "scary ride").

Much love!
XO,
Veronica

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